We are in an era where relationships are based on situations, not love and care anymore. Couples get into a relationship for the sake of having someone in their lives. But do you think a relationship will thrive if there is no attachment, commitment, or even love for that matter? How long do you think will you keep changing your partners? At some point, you may want to call it a period and may have to ask the following brutal questions to your partner.
The word brutal may sound harsh, but it leaves an impact on your mind, doesn’t it? So, being brutal does not mean you have to get aggressive while seeking answers from your partner. You only need to be open-minded and pose your questions respectfully and constructively—no need to be unnecessarily rude. Just be yourself. Do not go by the word literally.
Aim for clarity and understanding of your relationship while asking the following brutal questions to your partner:
1. Do we love each other for real?
The reason to ask this question upfront is to get a clear picture of your current status as a partner. You have to ask this question in the first stage to learn what your partner thinks about you. If there is no love, you can come to terms with whether you wish to continue with him or leave to find your true love.
If your partner clearly states that he wants you because you understand each other well and the wavelengths match but do not have profound feelings for you, then you can decide for yourself, will you be happy in a loveless relationship? Are you okay to be in a courtship where the situation dictates your bond and once the circumstances change will you still be happy together without the attachment and affection?
2. Do your long-term goals align with mine?
Firstly, you need to check whether your partner has any long-term goals. If he does, are you in the picture describing his goals? Long-term goals could be related to a job, buying property, having kids, or starting a new venture. Of course, even you need to have such goals.
However, if your partner is with you only for fun or to spend time when he is free, then you are only a hook-up girl to him. So, before you start dreaming of having a life with him, ask brutal questions to your partner related to your love life and the long-term goals concerning your relationship.
3. How do you deal with stress?
Falling in love and getting into a relationship is easy. But making the relationship work and maintaining your sanity are not. It leads to many stressful situations in life. Most couples work two or three jobs to make a living but still crave love. Hence, they get into a relationship but keeping up with the demands of love life makes their life harder.
That eventually leads to stressful situations. So, you must ask your partner how he deals with the stress. You can also explain how you work with solutions that reduce your stress. See if you have similar solutions to de-stress yourself. Some couples go on vacation, or short trips, read books, lie on the beach after work, or play with pets. What do you do to keep stress at bay?
4. Do you find me a supportive partner?
You may find an opportunity to ask this question only if you have been in a relationship for a couple of months. Dating once or twice and hooking up for fun won’t give you any answers. Being supportive does not mean you have to lend your partner money or provide for his supplies.
A partner is supportive when you become a backbone in the relationship. For instance, if your partner is looking forward to accepting a job offer at a new place that is away from his hometown and that can lead to a long-distance relationship then you must be supportive of him. You must give him a congratulatory card and a warm hug to accept the offer. And be with him in such stressful times.
There could be many other instances in life that could demand you to be a supportive partner. Let your man decide whether you are supportive or not.
5. An important brutal question to ask your partner- Is there anything in the relationship that is holding your partner back?
Your tantrums, rude behavior, or abusiveness can hold your partner back from giving you the love you desire. Of late, if you have observed some changes in your man and you feel like he is not willing to commit or wants to keep his distance from you, then ask him what the problem is.
It is one of the brutal questions to ask your partner to understand how you can improve to make the relationship work. If you have been on a bad behavior for long then explain what made you behave badly. Ask for his help and give an assurance that you will work on improving yourself. This was just an example, there could be other reasons why your partner may not love you wholeheartedly. Look for the answers by asking him questions politely.
6. How should we communicate more openly?
Many relationship experts and psychologists have claimed open communication is a must for a relationship to flourish. You have to speak your heart out instead of suppressing your feelings. If anything is pulling you back from opening up then seek professional help.
You may have to devise a strategy to come up with solutions where you can express yourself without hesitation. Talk to your partner, and make a list of brutal questions to ask your partner on how you both can communicate freely. You cannot have a strong foundation unless you lay a platform for communicating or expressing more openly.
7. Another brutal question to ask your partner- How do we take care of financial burden?
Ideally, it is a crucial one. Finances and money management are necessary for your relationship to work smoothly. Most relationships run out of love when only one partner is burdened with earning money. Of course, these days women prefer masculine men who overpower them with money and other material pleasures.
However, financial freedom is necessary if you expect your partner to hold you in high regard. Remember, respect and trust along with love play equal roles in a relationship. A financial burden is not a burden if you learn to distribute it evenly. Unless your partner is willing to carry it solely on his shoulders and you are happy to be an obedient submissive partner.
8. How do we address unresolved issues from the past?
Couples who have been in a relationship for too long may have some unresolved issues. Either from the same relationship or from past relationships. You can either seek professional advice or speak to elders who have been in a successful long-term relationship.
However, if your partner has inhibitions to seek professional help or does not wish to have have third party involved then you may have to work out a solution on your own. Talk to him. Deliberate over the issue you have faced in the past. See how you can resolve them and prevent them from hampering your happy love life again.
9. A crucial yet brutal question to ask your partner- What can I do to make you feel more loved and appreciated?
Fast-paced and competitive life can make your love life go sour. Most of the time your partner may feel like been left out. So, if you have seen your partner complain about your behavior on how you have been ignoring her, then make her feel loved and supported.
Ask her how she wants you to express your feelings. What can you do to make her feel special? A lack of expressions in love can lead to rifts in the bonding. Your partner will gradually fall out of love if you do not pay attention to her emotions. That same goes with men as well. Ask your man what he wants from you. What does he expect to make him feel loved and appreciated?
10. How do you expect me to support you during challenging times?
Transparency and communication play a vital role in making your relationship work. If you notice your partner struggling with his job and doesn’t make time for you, talk to him instead of nagging. Ask him how you can offer him support in his tough times.
Discussing issues at an open table will fortify your bond. It will give a sense of satisfaction to your partner for showing concern toward him. Also, once you show compassion and support, your partner will shower love and support during your challenging times. That’s how a relationship flourishes.
11. What are your views on healthy work-life balance?
These days it is important to maintain a healthy work-life balance to ensure your mental health is protected. You may lose your calm if your personal needs and hobbies are overlooked by your partner. So, you must discuss with your partner what he thinks of having a good work-life balance.
Devise a timetable, take each other’s hobbies and favorite pastimes into account, and fix a time slot to spend quality time together. Discuss your issues at the workplace and pay heed to each other’s advice. Express gratitude to your partner for showing understanding.
12. An important brutal question to ask your partner- Have I overstepped any boundaries in the relationship?
You may wonder why should I ask this question. It may trigger unwanted spat. Yes, it may. But if your partner has become conscious of what he shares with you and doesn’t allow you to ask more questions about his plan with you then maybe there is a catch.
You may have overstepped some bounds. Acknowledge your mistake and ask where the issue lies. Lay a compassionate space where he can feel comfortable expressing himself. Likewise, if your partner has hurt you in the past, speak to him. Tell him where you draw the line and how he should not behave when it comes to those particular issues.
13. How can we improve our intimate life? One of the upfront brutal questions to ask your partner
Yes, people ignore asking this and quit the relationship instead of solving the issue. It is very simple, you need to share your views with your partner about what you feel when you are not intimate. Relationships sink into a dark hole if you ignore spicing things up.
It is very important to bring up questions like this to rekindle the fire in your romance. Lately, if your partner has not been intimate with you then you must ask him. Try to figure out the solutions. Seek professional help if need be. Do not risk your happy relationship for such minor issues.
14. How can we deal with disagreements more effectively?
No relationship is complete if you have no minor disagreements. You will experience differences in opinions when you are in a transparent relationship. Trust me, that is a beautiful relationship where you are free to express yourself. However, the issues arise when you do not handle the differences constructively.
Again you may have to talk it through. Sit in a quiet place along with your partner and open the discussion to find solutions. Talk about things that can minimize conflicts. And even if the disagreements persist, find ways to tackle them. To prevent disagreements jot down the brutal questions to ask your partner.
15. How do we manage the household responsibilities? One of the brutal questions to ask your partner that most couples skip
Let’s accept household responsibilities are still taken care of by women. Even during these times when we expect better pay parity and no gender discrimination, household duties are still levied on women. So, if you follow the rules of the ultra-modern world get the same ideology in managing household duties.
Divide the jobs and responsibilities among each other equally. If you are a smart couple work on your solutions to manage the duties by hiring help or outsourcing the job. It also includes managing the finances more effectively while dividing the responsibilities.
16. Do we give each other enough space?
Some couples like to be clingy while others don’t. Some try to maintain distance to avoid hurting the partner. But instead of maintaining distance, why not discuss having space and living an independent life? Every human being needs some space to do their own thing. It could be practicing hobbies, traveling solo, or spending time in solitude.
There is nothing wrong in giving space to each other. It also prevents boredom from sliding into your love life. If you have been thinking of having some independent life from your partner. Talk to him and discuss the perks of giving each other some space to enjoy ‘me time’.
17. Would you like to share your concerns about our future as a couple?
Not many couples have any idea about posing this question to their partner but it is very important. It is one of the ignored brutal questions to ask your partner. And in today’s times, you must ask this before you even commit to your partner.
Imagine you are madly in love with him and you have been telling yourself that you are committed to him but what if he is not ready? He has concerns about the future with you. Maybe he doesn’t see you as his future partner. You will be collapsed upon learning his views. So, to prevent the traumatic experience be thorough with this question and look for solutions that address the concerns of the relationship’s future.
18. Do you have any unmet emotional needs?
Relationship experts suggest you should be with someone who understands your emotional needs. You will find physical love easily but emotional attachment is possible only when you have someone who reciprocates your emotional needs.
So, if your partner has been aloof from you for a long time and has not shared why he likes to be a recluse even when you are around then maybe his emotional needs have been overlooked for a long time. Always remember emotional needs are equally important as physical needs that need to be addressed.
19. What are your thoughts on having kids?
Once you get serious in your relationship you may want to consider starting a family. In these years, people wish to have double income and no kids. However, some still prefer having kids to strengthen their relationship. So, before you take the final plunge make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
Talk about how you wish to start a new chapter and ask him his views about having kids. The decision has to be unanimous. Do not try to impose your wish or demand. Try to keep an open mind when sharing your views. Come up with more brutal questions to ask your partner but accept your partner’s views and avoid being judgemental.
20. How can we grow as a couple?
Life is a journey and every human being learns something new while being on one. As a couple, you may also experience several changes in your love life. You fight, patch up, then break up again, and then get back together. This trend continues until you realize that you are deeply in love with each other.
So, upon realization, you may want to draw up a plan to decide how you can keep your relationship growing stronger. Talk about your career goals, your vacation ideas, fantasies, and ways to keep each other happy. Being compassionate, understanding, and caring will help your relationship flourish by leaps and bounds.
Conclusion
The post talks about how you can start fortifying your relationship with your partner. It doesn’t say you have to be crude while dealing with your man. The brutal questions signify that you are serious about the relationship and wish to take it to the next level.
The questions that you ask must focus on the upliftment of your bonding. The goal should to be grow together in every aspect of life. You have to let each other know that you care for each other and wish to stay happy in the coming years. Also, you wish to make this relationship work so that love in your bond never fades away.
