Commitment is a strong word, isn’t it? It weighs so much that many start feeling overburdened even when you mention it. Also, it is tough to find a partner who won’t have commitment issues. Everyone gets cold feet when you ask for loyalty and commitment. Especially in today’s time, where you can date multiple men and women through apps and common friends, people don’t believe in showing commitment to one partner. However, there are a few reasons why couples are afraid of commitment. And although men or women prefer dating multiple people, the reality is human beings tend to settle down with one partner.
Being polygamous is frustrating for a reason. You cannot meet all the needs of your partner. And monogamy helps in concentrating only on the good things in your partner. Yet, it is not satisfactory for couples who have more expectations. That is also one of the reasons why couples are afraid of commitment. That’s because commitment will put a period to the new opportunities that you could have otherwise explored.
Reasons for Commitment Woes: Let’s have a look at the other genuine reasons why couples are afraid of commitment
1. Living with a broken heart
How will you seek love or rather believe in love if you have lost faith in love? Past relationships’ bad experiences can be quite tormenting. These experiences haunt you until you heal yourself completely.
Healing yourself post-breakup is not an easy task. You get driven into depression and trauma. Recovering from that state takes a lot of willpower and mental commitment to oneself. So, the healed mental wounds often make you realize that you cannot commit to anyone. Hence, these bitter thoughts are the reasons why couples are afraid of commitment.
2. My life will be under the control of that one person
Another one of the most genuine reasons why couples are afraid of commitment. One partner will always feel that, if I give a commitment, then the other will take charge of my life. There will be no freedom, and maybe I will be losing the hold on my life.
It is true in women’s case; men can become dominating in the relationship. A majority of Asian women face this issue. But if you want to take control over your life, you shouldn’t let your partner overpower you in the first place. Be clear with your terms. Date for a couple of years, but do not get deeply attached to your partner.
After some years of dating, when you feel that your partner is loving and caring but not dominating, then you can commit to the relationship.
3. I won’t be able to make my decisions without my partner’s views/opinions
Some people have the habit of making their decisions without consulting others. That is the reason they don’t like committing to anyone. Once you commit to someone, you will also be under an obligation to take your partner’s opinions into consideration.
No commitment means no obligation. It is as simple as that. Hence, many men prefer to have multiple affairs than committing to one person. Even women are in this league, but the percentage is less compared to men.
4. There will be unnecessary emotional baggage
It is one of the weird reasons why couples are afraid of commitment. When you get into a relationship, feelings and emotions are bound to be the core foundation. Then why can’t you accept gracefully and give a warm welcome?
Let there be emotions and love-dovey feelings. But yes, excessive melodrama and unnecessary promises ruin the lovely bonding. I agree. But this should not be the reason for not committing to one person.
If your partner is way too sensitive and emotional, then yes, this can be quite disappointing. But it should not be termed as emotional baggage.
5. Showing commitment means unwanted distraction
You may not be thinking this way, but many other couples do. They believe that when you are committed to someone, you will always have to be available for your partner. It may lead to distractions from your work or job.
You can lose focus on important tasks at hand and face failures. For instance, if it is your girlfriend’s birthday next week, but you also have to go on a business trip that week, what will you do?
Both are important, but your commitment to your girlfriend can make you lose money and an important assignment. So, this is also one of the reasons why couples are afraid of commitment.
6. Will I receive the same amount of love that I shower on my partner?
Having reservations in a relationship is quite common. Every couple is skeptical; some overdo with skepticism while others keep mum and avoid commitment. When one partner loves unconditionally, he thinks what if he isn’t showered with the same amount of love.
If you don’t get satisfactory affection in a previous relationship, you will have reservations in the new relationship. And that is harmful to your new relationship. That’s the reason why many couples avoid commitment.
7. What if I lose interest in the relationship? Fear of getting stuck in a loveless relationship is also one of the reasons why couples are afraid of commitment
Losing interest and love fading away is natural, but if you leave your partner, for this reason, it is disheartening. How did your feelings fade away? What were you expecting from this relationship? Will you be able to answer these questions?
Your partner will be left heartbroken, and you may have to deal with the post-breakup drama. All these thoughts run through your mind and make you think multiple times to make the commitment.
8. The wedding follows commitment. And I do not want to marry.
Couples who do not want to marry their entire life fear commitment. That’s because once you commit to someone, the other partner starts expecting you to write the marriage vows, isn’t it?
Even if you both planned that you won’t ask your partner to marry you ever, somewhere down the line your partner will come up with this question- will you marry me? Then what? Marriage is also one of the reasons why couples are afraid of commitment.
9. What if my new partner also turns out like my torturous Ex? One of the dreaded reasons why couples are afraid of commitment
Who doesn’t fear this? Every heartbroken person thinks like this. Dating for a couple of months or years can never tell you the truth about a person. People change over a period of time, and situations turn them toxic.
So, they vent out their frustration on their partner. Many heartbroken people become protective of their mental health after the long tiresome years of torture from their previous partner. Hence, when they get into a new relationship, they fear committing to one person.
10. What if I get stuck with the wrong person my entire life? One of the common reasons why couples are afraid of commitment
It is somewhat similar to the above point, but the difference is the connection. Forget about the torturous ex; think about the connection that you may or may not have with your partner. Some couples blindly fall in love with each other due to physical attraction.
And in the later years, they realize they have different mindsets. Their wavelengths do not match, their lifestyle is different, and they don’t even share similar life goals. What next then? Commitment to that person will ruin your entire life. This fear also makes many couples non-committal.
