Relationships are complicated and difficult to define. Every relationship is knitted uniquely. So, if you compare your relationship with others, you will never be happy. Of course, there are instances where you learn that you are lucky enough to have found a loving partner when you see other couples, craving love. If you fall in this category, then indeed you are lucky.
But what about the couples who get into a relationship just for the sake of having a partner? They never find peace and solace in their partner’s presence. And when friends ask them- are you not happy in your relationship? They only have a sad reply- yes, I am not; things are different than imagined.
So, what do you think is the solution? It is about self-examination along with analyzing where your relationship is going. To help you get through this, you must ask yourself the following ten questions.
Not happy in a relationship? These 10 questions will help you in the analysis:
1. Are we way too much controlling?
Self-analysis of the relationship and yourself is crucial if you want to see why exactly you aren’t happy in your relationship. The question about controlling your partner is important because you have to check who is more controlling- you or your partner?
If it is you, then you are expecting a lot from your partner. That is the reason why your partner may be running away from you. And if it is the other way round, then maybe you should talk to your man or spouse and share your feelings.
The more you try to control someone, the more you’ll see them moving away from you. It is all psychological. Every human being needs space and freedom. If you try to impose restrictions on your partner, you will finally lose him someday.
2. Do we spend enough quality time together?
When had you been on a vacation in the last six months? You didn’t go on a vacation? Oops! That is where the problem lies. You don’t spend enough quality time together. Only spending time together will not suffice.
You have to spend quality time together. Speaking to each other, having meals together, and sharing some lovely moments together are important. If you haven’t been spending time together then you are not happy in your relationship. Try and fix this.
3. Why do we let others interfere in our matters?
It is a very important question. And also, it is a matter of concern, if you are letting your friends or in-laws interfere in your personal matters. If your partner is the one who lets others or close friends interfere in your life, then you should discuss this with your partner at length.
Tell him that it is creating a problem in your life. And specify the reasons why others should not be allowed to make decisions for you. Everybody has a different strategy to make their relationship work, and it is not necessary that the same strategies will work for you as well.
This could be the reason why you are not happy in your relationship, hence, avoid people who create problems in your life.
4. Are we managing finances efficiently? If not, maybe that is the reason you are not happy in a relationship
If financial burden is a concern, then it is a problem. But it can be resolved. However, you must make a list of unnecessary expenses. Speak to your partner and let him know how you both can manage the finances.
If you are the only one who is dealing with financial problems, then your partner will never come to know the reasons behind your unhappiness. When you are in a relationship, you are a team. And dealing with unwanted issues or financial crises needs a team effort. So, if either of you has been avoiding financial problems, then you will never be happy in this relationship.
5. Are we romantic enough? Or do we skip romance completely?
Being intimate and romantic with your partner is also equally important to have a flourishing relationship. But of late, if you have been avoiding the lovey-dovey moments, then there is a reason to worry.
Why are you not engaging in romantic ideas? Why are you both draining away the romantic vibes? If there are other reasons that are taking you away from your partner, then resolve those matters.
Do not let your office fights or any other disagreements outside your love-life affect your peace at home. It has an indirect impact on your relationship. That probably could also be the reason why you are not happy in your relationship.
6. Is it that we do not trust each other now? Maybe that’s why you are not happy in a relationship
There comes a time where you stop trusting each other and start looking for love outside the relationship. If this is the case with you, then you must see what is wrong in your relationship.
For instance, your partner lied to you about how he will keep you happy and that you will always enjoy each other’s company. But now, it is only you who is doing the right things to keep the relationship going. And in this process, you are losing yourself. There is no contribution from your partner, and now you have caught his lies.
Also, somewhere, deep down, you know he will never change, and you may have to keep struggling with him. Hence, you have stopped trusting him. This could also be the reason why you are not happy in your relationship.
7. Am I happy when my partner is not around?
Okay, another big question that will help you to understand your relationship better. Have you seen yourself being happy when your partner is not around? Do you enjoy yourself when you are alone, and he is not your company?
Well, it is a sign that you are looking for a change in your relationship. You enjoy your me-time a lot, and you are happy in your little space. You don’t need anyone else to be a part of your life. So, it is time that you rethink your relationship status and do the wise thing. Always keep your happiness first. It is not called being selfish, it is called protecting your mental health.
8. Not happy in a relationship? Ask yourself this- Do we respect each other or not?
Trust and respect are two things that you need to earn. People won’t start respecting you or trusting you unless you lay some solid ground for them. Likewise, in a relationship, if there is no trust or respect left in the relationship, love will eventually vanish away.
And, when all these three important things go missing from a relationship, you will never feel like staying in the relationship. In fact, it is way too difficult to stay in a relationship where you are full of spite, and you hate each other’s presence.
9. Is my partner compromising a lot, or am I compromising the most?
Compromise is a sad word, isn’t it? The moment you hear it, there is a rush of negative emotions. But, you can’t forget that compromising is necessary for a relationship. It helps in sustaining the bonding.
But, many times, it is always only one partner in a relationship that compromises a lot. That is where you may feel that you are not happy in your relationship. So, is that you or your partner?
If it is your partner who is compromising more, then you should feel empathetic about it and try to minimize his burden. But if it is the other way round, then you better slide off the burden on your partner’s shoulders steadily.
10. Are we communicating effectively?
Ideally, communication plays a pivotal role in helping a relationship to grow. If you are not happy in your relationship, then it could be because you lack effective communication. Either you don’t listen to your partner or do not express yourself clearly. Or, your partner is an introvert and does not open up easily.
See, this is where the problem lies. Speaking and listening are both equally important. You cannot expect your partner to get access to feelings telepathically. There has to be two-way communication. Make use of all the tools of communication- verbal, text, and gestures. But talk to your partner to resolve your problems.
