Are you getting stressed about being financially abused in your relationship? Yet, you have no idea what the actual signs of financial abuse in a relationship are. Then don’t worry; here in this blog, you will get answers to all your questions. According to PCADV, most Americans don’t even know that financial abuse is a kind of domestic abuse. And if they have been in an abusive relationship, then they have suffered financial abuse.
The only problem is that they did not realize that they were a victim of financial abuse until their friends, family members, or a financial expert told them. It may sound trivial to you, but financial abuse can have a long-lasting effect on your mental health. You feel like your freedom is snatched away, and when in a financial emergency, you must seek your partner’s consent to spend money.
A personal note…
I believe if you are earning money, then you need to have control over your finances, irrespective of how much you love your partner. Finance and love matters are altogether different, so never mix them up together. I agree when you are in love with someone, you give away all the access to your body, feelings, and money. But, the truth is money is the only thing that can save you from an abusive relationship. It gives you the power to protect yourself.
Now, without further ado, let’s have a look at the signs of financial abuse in a relationship.
1. You are often advised on which career suits you the best
Okay, the statement may sound positive to you. But the advice you get is never in your favor. For instance, you already make good money and are offered a promotion at your workplace. And when you disclose this news to your partner, they feel upset.
Why does a partner have to have a frown face? Well, promotion means bigger pay and additional responsibilities. And you may get tied up at work and won’t find time to look after your kids or do the chores. It means he will have to do the additional work, and you will have the power to control him. So, why would he let the control pass on to you? That is why he may ask you not to accept the promotion offer. Believe it or not, it is a sign of financial abuse.
2. There is a deduction of some amount every month
Okay, have you ever noticed a deduction of a specific amount every month from your bank account? As far as you know, you haven’t taken any loans, or there is no investment into mutual funds. But still, the money is transferred from your account.
Of course, this amount does not count as any monthly bill either. Where do you think your money is going? It is either deducted as EMI or some premium payment without your consent and knowledge. No doubt, it is a sign of financial abuse. On learning this, your next move should be to stop the payment and confront your partner.
3. Your partner also receives the notification of all your expenses
Look, you have to understand one thing, if the money is yours, you can spend it as per your choice. And I believe you should not be answerable to anybody for your expenses. But yes, if you are spending someone else’s money, then you will be held accountable.
But if you are spending your hard-earned money on yourself, then why does your partner have to keep a tab on you? Why does he receive the notification along with you? It means your man wants to know where you spend and how much you spend so that he questions you for being extravagant, even if you are not. And remember one thing- financial abuse begins with unwanted questioning.
4. You are not in control of your credit cards
Unless you have permitted your partner to take care of your credit card expenses, you are not answerable to him. Why does he carry your credit cards? Also, if you have no idea where and how your credit cards are used, it means you are already under financial abuse.
Furthermore, if you are only paying the credit card bills and your partner does not contribute a single penny, then you must confiscate all your credit cards and stop the irrelevant expenditure. You must know who uses your credit card and the purpose behind the expenditure. Also, if it is in your name, then you must bear the credit card; not your partner.
5. He yells at you when you shop for your essentials
You may be wondering what constitutes essentials, right? It could be anything from make-up supplies to garments. You may have a habit of buying new clothes every month. And that is okay if you are making money, you have the right to spend it on yourself.
Why do you have to seek someone else’s permission? However, if your partner yells at you for buying something unnecessary for him, then maybe he likes to control your outflow of money. All he loves is inflow, and the day you spend some money without his knowledge, he gets upset. What does it mean? You are a victim of financial abuse.
6. You have no idea about his transactions, but he knows everything about you
It is a bit scary when someone keeps a close watch on all your transactions But you never ask your man where he spends his money. So, you don’t know where and how he spends or how much money he has at his disposal.
Also, just in case, if you ask him why he does not tell you where he spends the money or why he keeps asking for some extra money from you, he loses his control and uses foul language. Is that fair? It is a sign that you are in an abusive relationship where money is the only key that holds you together.
7. He comes uninvited to your workplace- One of the overlooked signs of financial abuse in a relationship
Coming to your workplace uninformed is disappointing, isn’t it? Unless someone wants to give you a surprise and make you happy. Then that’s a different story. So, if your partner visits your office frequently to ask for money, what do you think- how are your colleagues going to react? You will become their gossip topic.
Of course, your reputation will also tarnish, and you may become an object of ridicule because of being in a relationship with a loser boyfriend.
8. Misuse of your kindness
Are you generous enough to lend your man money every time he needs it? And does he ask you every other day? Well, it is a sign that your man is misusing your generosity. He knows that you will lend him money and won’t ask back.
So, the conclusion is that your bank balance keeps draining without you even realizing it. All I want to say is if you like giving money and you don’t want him to return, then in the long run your partner will make a fool out of you. Be kind but not a fool. Love and respect yourself but never let anybody misuse your generosity.
9. You give justification for the purchases you made- Not a rare sign of financial abuse in a relationship
I certainly do not approve that you owe any justification to your partner who does not earn a penny and yet audaciously asks for bank statements and reasons for the expenditure. Never forget, if you are making money, then you can spend it the way you want.
You do not owe any explanation to a man who is with you only for money. Or even if he is making money and still asks for money from you, then you know he doesn’t love you. You are merely a source of extra income for him.
10. There is an emotional drama- One of the most common signs of financial abuse in a relationship
Yes, when I say emotional drama, it means making an emotional fool out of you. Does your man come up with excuses every time? Does he ask you for money for petty reasons? And every time he asks, there is an emotional touch to his story.
Well, you must learn by now that he is only with you because you support his nonsense. It is time that you acknowledge the economic abuse and move out of that relationship.
Conclusion
These are some open signs that can help you in learning whether you are in a financially abusive relationship or not. Sometimes, many women prefer to ignore the subtle signs of abuse only to have someone in their lives. However, in the long run, you condone these unpleasant behaviors of your partner.
It is not worth it to normalize such exploitation. You need to have control of your finances. A happy relationship demands input from both ends. There could also be some other abusive signs and if you come across any of them talk to your partner and sort out financial issues. If your partner is adamant and doesn’t want to change, then seek professional assistance. Talk to a finance and relationship counselor.
