It is all lovey-dovey when you begin a fresh start with a new partner. But men often think pragmatically when it comes to choosing a partner. They weigh their chances of having a flourishing relationship and then commit to one. But they do date for a significantly long period before jumping to a conclusion. Things that matter the most to men are compatibility, respect, and no melodrama. That is the reason why guys become reserved once they are in love.
Why do guys become reserved? Is it love or something else?
There could be many reasons for guys to behave introvertedly or not disclose their real intentions. Most of the guys these days choose to give in to lustful desires and enjoy the temporary situation-ship. However, sometimes you can say that love alters their personality and changes them to behave in a certain way. Also, their innate characteristics and upbringing have a massive impact on how they treat their partners.
But it is not limited to these reasons. There are a few more eccentric reasons that make men behave distantly from their partners. But let’s not drown ourselves in these thoughts because not all guys behave this way. Only a few percent of men undergo this distance maintaining phase. Let’s have a look at those reasons.
1. They had a bad experience in their past relationship
When you are hurt, you often feel that it is better you stay away from getting involved in a new relationship. You suppress your emotions and think in a very diplomatic way. Guys become reserved when they want to hide their sensitive nature.
Even girls have bad experiences, but they cry out and let their feelings be known. Unlike guys, men prefer to keep their sad feelings hidden. They also fear getting judged by other people, especially by their new partner.
2. They are simultaneously dating other women as well
A man who knows he is irresistible will always keep his doors open to other options. Similarly, if you know you can date innumerable women at a time, then why waste time dating one? But when guys are in love, they still keep this option open.
They date other women to compare and see if they have taken the right decision or not. They like to keep their intentions secret, and hence guys become reserved. And they prefer to date other women to check which girl is the best to stick with other than the one they are in love with.
3. Why do guys become reserved? Because they wish to take it slow
The other reason why guys become reserved is they want to slow down the attachment process. That’s because once you get deeply attached to someone, you start getting into commitment.
So, to avoid commitment at the early stage, guys start going distant. They restrain themselves from sharing details with their partners. Also, guys often meet at public places to avoid getting intimate too soon.
4. They do not want any screw-ups
Every couple fears screw-up. When you are in love, you want to ensure that everything goes smoothly. Be it your meetings, get-togethers with friends, or short trips, you wish to plan everything intelligently to prevent goof-ups.
Hence, many guys become reserved and make sure that they go ahead step by step. No overindulging and getting emotional with their partner becomes their priority. That’s because they also fear being judged for pettiness.
5. Maybe they are not serious, and they do not want to hurt their partner
You fall in love without even knowing it. And a majority of the time, it is the physical attraction that draws you towards that special person. So, you may not have any plans to be in a relationship, but you do love your partner.
But since you are concerned about your girl, you will try to stay distant. Guys become reserved so that they can prevent themselves from hurting the love of their life. That’s because no one is sure of being serious in a relationship in the first instance. It takes time. And just to be sure whether they want to be in this new relationship, they become secretive.
6. Why do guys become reserved when in love? Maybe, because they are seeking more options
In the initial stages of a casual relationship, guys may be in love. But they aren’t sure of the commitment. Most of the men are in a dilemma whether to give 100% commitment to a girl or to look for more options.
Ideally, no one likes to be an option, but guys often build up a mindset to look for hotter chicks. So, if you find a man who says he loves you but is not showing any signs of commitment, then note down, he is looking for other women.
7. Maybe they are waiting for the commitment from your end
When guys become reserved, they have a motive behind this stand. They wait to see how committed you are. Whether you are interested in having a long-term relationship or not. So, even if they become serious, they won’t tell you instantly.
They will observe your behavior and see how you are contributing to the relationship. I agree it is wrong to judge a person, but men often become skeptical before showing commitment. So, either you show that you are committed, or wait for your man to share his views on loyalty.
8. In some cases, they are not looking for commitment at all
Your partner will tell you how he loves you. But maybe he isn’t seeking commitment from you. All he expects is a casual relationship. Or a relationship that doesn’t demand commitment- an open relationship.
So, if you observe that your man is becoming distant, and behaves abnormally when asked questions on commitment, then maybe he is reluctant to commit. He either has cold feet, or he has made up his mind not to commit.
9. They do not want their family or friends to know about you
Some men prefer to keep their relationship a secret if it is a new one. There could be many reasons. But the most common one is that they aren’t sure whether the new relationship will last long or not.
Hence, they choose to keep it a secret before jumping to any conclusion. Their reluctance to disclose the relationship to loved ones is also a sign that they lack confidence in the new relationship.
10. Why do guys become reserved in love? Maybe they are introvert
There is a saying the sun that hardens the clay also melts the ice. So, people have dual faces. Let’s accept the grave reality. The man who treats you lovingly and is amusing around his friends, may not be funny around you.
Maybe he adjusts his behavior to be with you and is not loud or flamboyant in your presence. So, that can also be the reason why he maintains a distance when you are around. He can be either shy or dubious about you. Hence, he must be behaving like an introvert.
11. They love you, but they know you are already in a relationship
Men can easily get attracted to anyone who they find irresistible. But when it comes to sharing the feelings, they contemplate. Also, if they find out that you are already in a relationship, then they will never reveal their true feelings.
Instead, they will accept reality and let go of their feelings. If there is no scope for a new relationship, then why would a man propose to you? That’s also one of the reasons why guys become reserved.
12. Maybe they still love their Ex
Men who have been too serious in their past relationship, and had a bad breakup, often mull over their past. It becomes hard for them to heal post-breakup. Hence, in the new relationship, they stay distant from their new partner.
In reality, even women don’t give up on their past relationships easily. They still keep their hopes alive and expect that their Ex will come back to them from nowhere. So do men think in a similar way.
13. They dislike unnecessary drama and are scared of a new relationship
Ideally, nobody likes unwanted drama. But some people cry foul and involve in emotional blackmailing. So, men who have been in a bad past relationship often develop cynical thoughts about a new relationship.
And there is nothing wrong with being cautious. But the question is how long can you stay reserved? You may have to open up someday and accept the new relationship. Holding onto negative emotions for too long can worsen the matter.
14. Why do guys become reserved in love? Maybe because love is not their priority anymore
For men who have suffered a lot in their previous relationships often start losing hope in love. For them, it is only about having a partner in their life. It doesn’t matter whether they love that girl.
But it is not a real relationship. It simply means you have selfish motives. Why would you want to ruin someone’s life? If you don’t love someone, then better don’t get into a relationship. Getting into a relationship just for the sake of it is not love. Even staying distant won’t bring happiness to your life. A sense of belonging and love is crucial for a relationship to flourish.
