Do you know why divorce rates are higher these days? Why do couples find it wise to go separate ways? What is it that is killing the essence of a relationship? So many questions, right? But the truth is couples do not realize that the problem lies within them. Their assumptions lead to the disastrous death of their relationship. Their wrong beliefs are those assumptions that work as relationship killers. This blog has picked up a few examples of assumptions in relationships that are commonly assumed.
Statistics confirm that almost 40% to 50% of marriages in the US end up in divorce. And the pandemic worsened the marital woes. Problem? Couples assume things and do not work on the solutions.
Here are the ten examples of assumptions in relationships that work as relationship killers.
1. You believe that you are the only one who is doing the right things
How often do you think this way? Do not lie. I know one of the partners in the relationship always thinks that he is doing the right things. While the other partner is just existing in the relationship. How do you start believing this?
You assume things blindly. Some contributions in a relationship are unseen and unfelt. But every partner does make some contributions to the relationship. For instance, if you think that you are the one who spends a lot in the relationship. But your partner only arranges things and does not spend enough.
How can you assume this? Why can’t you see the bright side? Talk to your partner, and ask her, why doesn’t she spend money on you the way you do. I believe she may be saving money for future expenses. She may be planning a vacation for you, or maybe she wants to buy a big house for you. Unless you get things clarified, you should not assume things.
2. Why do only I have to take major responsibilities on my shoulders?
One of those assumptions that work as relationship killers is this one. Okay, if you are genuinely the only one taking up the responsibilities, then maybe it’s time you sit and deliberate on this issue with your partner.
But are you assuming this? Have you cross-checked what responsibilities your partner has been carrying? Communication is a tool that many couples forget to use. That is the reason the minor conflicts turn into disputes. If you think something is wrong, then talk; why whine?
If your partner turns a cold shoulder to your requests, then you must take the final call. But assuming things and making the decision doesn’t work. It only ruins good bonding.
3. I am the one who compromises more
Making compromises is a part of the relationship. If you aren’t compromising something, you are not building a strong relationship. But if you feel that you are the only one who is compromising more than required, then it is a problem.
Study what compromises you are making. Let your partner know that it is disappointing to you because you do not feel valued. I have seen women complaining a lot about making compromises. But the only solution is to make your partner learn what compromises you have been making these many years.
4. He enjoys his me-time, whereas I don’t get time to enjoy mine
It is a common problem in a majority of relationships. But some couples just assume this. It is one of those assumptions that work as relationship killers and ruin everything. Enjoying me-time is your requirement, so you have to make out time.
But what if you don’t find the time? Well, the only solution is to scrap doing something that you don’t like, or you are overburdened to do, and enjoy doing things in that spare time. If you think your partner is responsible for this distress, then let him know how you feel.
If he still doesn’t understand that you aren’t enjoying your life and you are slipping into depression, then it is time that you leave him and start living life on your terms.
5. I should keep mum to avoid fights
It is one of the worst assumptions that work as relationship killers. Why should you keep mum if you are suffering? Are you protecting your relationship at the expense of your happiness? Is that wise? No, right?
You have to let your partner know that you are not happy with his behavior and that it is taking a toll on your mental health. Every problem can be solved with discussion. But if your partner is not a wise man, and is not ready for dialogue, then you better leave him.
But keeping quiet and suffering the harsh blows of life is not the solution to save your relationship. Communication is the solution.
6. I am the stress-taker. He is rarely stressed.
Men know how to relieve themselves of stress after a hard day. They hang out with friends, booze with their peers, and play squash in their spare time. But women are overburdened with responsibilities. But the reality is, that women can also live life as men do.
You must give up cooking and let him cook. Get out of the house and join a dance club. Enjoy your me-time. When you behave responsibly, your partner becomes complacent. So break all the barriers and lay the burden of responsibilities on your partner.
If he is willing to divide the burden equally, then accept it. But if not, then you either take a firm stand of leaving him or suffer under the miseries. You will be stressed all your life if you do not think about yourself.
7. Social Media will relieve me of stress- One of the examples of assumptions in relationships that only worsens the issue at hand
Oh really? Does social media help you to relax? Or does it all the more excite you? It is one of those assumptions that work as relationship killers and make you believe that it is taking away your stress. Whereas, it is just leaving a bad impact on your mental health.
Social media only worsens the relationship matters. We try to copy the other people and expect to live their life. But social media is all a sham. People end up committing suicide because their lives are not fascinating like others. So never live under the assumption that social media is a stress reliever.
8. I am not his priority. Whereas he is my priority
Never assume this. If he is your priority, then that is your decision. You are giving him that respect more than anything else. But why do you expect things in return? Did your partner ask you to make him your priority?
Making someone a priority is a personal choice. If you aren’t happy with the fact that you aren’t his priority, then talk to him. Make him realize how important you are in his life. You never know your partner may be giving you a priority, but you don’t know it yet.
Talk to him and do not keep high expectations from your partner. Expectations also destroy relationships.
9. Does he have an affair? Why doesn’t he call or text me first?- One of the few examples of assumptions in relationships that often lead to breakups
I guess every girlfriend or wife assumes this when her man doesn’t answer her texts or calls. But it is a wrong assumption. Such assumptions often lead to unwanted fights and disagreements.
You must trust your partner. Lay a strong foundation of love and faith that will bind you both together. Why survive on unnecessary assumptions? If you value your relationship, then never let your man feel that he is not trusted. Confront him and ask for answers but never put yourself in a miserable condition. It is one of the worst assumptions that work as relationship killers.
10. Holding on to the past and fighting in the present- One of the most common examples of assumptions in relationships
Do you bring your past experiences to present situations? Why? The past is a past, and you cannot change it. But bringing back some past experiences and linking them with the present situations is wrong.
Having assumptions based on previous experiences is a human tendency. But it can ruin a strong bond. So, if you have any assumptions, try to give some reasonable explanation to support your whim.
Conclusion
Yes, human beings cannot stop processing thoughts. These thoughts multiply with overthinking. That leads to assuming things in relationships. Assumptions are only thoughts that you think can be a possibility. But in reality, it is only a thought that has no formal basis.
You tend to overlook the good qualities in your partner and assume petty things that worsen the problems in your relationship. If you have doubts, or you are unhappy with something, talk to your partner. Expressing yourself is the only solution. Assuming things will only pile on things in your head.
