Ever been through a breakup? I know how it feels. You are full of emotions with no words to express. Also, you keep looking for advice to heal from a breakup. That’s when I wrote the following poem to express myself.
Loved to Pamper…..
There was a time I loved to pamper,
Regardless of what you’d think about me rather,
I was naïve, and your love to me was addictive drug dose,
I had a choice to say NO, but now I wonder what I chose.
Sweetzie my love for you was unconditional always,
There were no nuances of perfidy or betray.
But I kept wondering what made you say;
“That my feelings for you darling faded away”.
It just didn’t shatter me into pieces but killed me thousand times every single day.
But as the time passed, life taught me to live headstrong and fight all the battles alone,
Because I am here to conquer and stay.
I wanted to scream aloud and cry my heart out,
But I couldn’t do so because there was every known stranger around,
…then I heard a whisper from above, this is just a bout!
Now I know that you miss that pamper and long for more;
But I am Sorry I’ve forgiven your misdeed and have let go what I bore.
All I say is thank you for being a lesson,
If it hadn’t been for you, I guess, I would’ve not been a better person.
Lovelorn, jilted, and forsaken are a few words that we associate with the breakup. It is tormenting to accept a breakup when there is a rush of negative emotions. Also, it is a trying phase when you have to deal with unrequited love. But when you are rejected for a petty issue, it destroys your inner peace. Which is then followed by mental trauma and anxiety attacks. You also start losing interest in other things like studies and work. But giving up hope isn’t the best solution. You’ve got to heal yourself post-breakup. But the question is how?
The Efforts You Put into the Relationship Make it Hard to Heal from A Breakup
According to Pew Research, about 50% of the adults in the US confess that it is tough to date these days. They expect a committed relationship but end up getting into a casual relationship. Also, in India, the breakups take place because the mindsets of the young adults do not match with each other. Another most common reason for breakups is the cultural aspects that are involved. In India, if you are in a committed relationship, and if you wish to culminate it into marriage, you won’t just marry your partner, you’ll marry the entire family. Hence, the difference in opinions arises and that leads to breakups.
Though the feeling of being left alone is punishing, you can still recover from that ordeal with ease. Let’s go through some tips that can help you to heal from a breakup.
Avoid Social Media Completely
Social media plays a significant role in everybody’s life. We post pictures, videos, share blogs, that relate to our lives. But 85% of those posts are delusive, they do not define your happiness. You post the photos just to show the world how thrilled you are about your life. Whereas in reality, you are frustrated, infuriated, and living an irksome life.
You just compare your life with others, and that incites you to post fake photos depicting delightful life. When in a relationship, you must have shared a lot many posts together. And those posts will come haunting you. Hence, it would be best to deactivate your social media account. And set yourself free from unwanted disturbances.
Go on a Self-exploration Journey To Heal from A Breakup
Some relationships last for a week and some for over years. The longer the duration the harder is the breakup, isn’t it? When you break up after a few years, you tend to undergo a self-destructive phase. It is indeed a taxing time when you cannot figure out how to deal with your life after the breakup.
To heal yourself post-breakup is indispensable; because you can end up in depression for years. Yes, depression follows when you are the victim of the breakup. Various psychological experts say it takes half of the time of the relationship years to recover from breakup trauma. For instance, if you were in a relationship for seven years, it will take more than three and a half years to restore everything to normalcy.
Hence, for a speedy recovery from depression or breakup damage, you must take a break. You must go to a peaceful place to help yourself relax. Once you are alone, you can easily figure out what went wrong and how to avoid the same mistakes in the future relationship. But before that, you must start loving yourself and have self-belief. Analyze what you want from your life and work on it. It is the easiest way to restore peace in your life again.
Hangout with Friends Who Understand You
Whenever I think of best friends I think of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte. Who are they? They are the characters of Sex and the city series. Yes, it is crucial to open up your heart and let out negative emotions. The more you suppress your tears, the more toxicity will build up in your mind.
“Let Go” is the real mantra! And you must stick to it. But you must also let yourself free from the awful vibes. Only friends whom you trust the most, and who have always been with you through thick and thin are your saviors. Talk to them, share your feelings, take tequila shots and give yourself wings.
Yes, you need to push yourself to happiness, or else you’ll go ricocheting to your unhappy version. Pushing doesn’t mean to force yourself, it means you should avoid getting consumed by negative emotions.
Watch Motivating Videos
Motivate yourself to bring out a better version of yourself. You must avoid all lovey-dovey videos, sites, or books that will reinforce negativity in you. Instead, read books that will help in guiding your life in a new direction.
Watch movies or documentaries that you haven’t seen before. Exploring something new and experiencing newer changes in your life will restore faith. Motivating books or videos should serve the purpose of making you bounce back to life. Love and belongingness are only feelings and you can have them back if you keep your mind open.
Focus on Physical Health to Heal from A Breakup
When you are under stress, you go binge-eating. Health experts suggest the stress-related hormone cortisol makes you eat more. But you must avoid eating unhealthy food or junk food just to keep your mind off the depression.
Whenever you feel like eating something just drink a glass of water. Eat only when hungry. You must join a gym and focus on your fitness. It helps in keeping you motivated for the new future. Also, when you focus on yourself, you forget about the negativity. Your stress levels come down and you won’t give in to cravings.
Do Not Keep in Touch with Common Friends
Every couple has few common friends. But the friends remain good friends when you are with your partner. Once the bond goes sour your common friends will also be divided. Hence, it is best to keep a distance from them for a while.
Keeping distance from common friends does not mean you must sever the ties. Just avoid hanging out with them. Do not share your feelings with them and do not call or text them. Keeping in touch with common friends will worsen your trauma. It is because you’ll be dragged into the past and you’ll get stuck there. It will get difficult for you to heal yourself.
Learn a New Language
To heal yourself post-breakup, jump into a new activity. When you start learning a new language you boost the brain’s power. It also enhances your decision-making ability. Learning anything new can help in reducing stress and getting rid of depression.
It is because when you challenge yourself to learn something new, your brain redirects the energy. The energy to grasp new words, new spellings, and new sentence formation. All this helps in decluttering your mind as well. Along with that it sharpens your mind and improves your ability to multi-task.
Join an Art Class
It is very simple, if you wish to have a sound mind, you must keep yourself immersed in something. Creative activity is one of the best solutions to heal. You must not limit yourself only to take up an art class. You can take up any hobby of your choice.
Practicing a hobby and enhancing your creative streak is crucial in the healing process. You can indulge in cooking as well. Many men are unaware that cooking is an excellent art, and that the aroma of a delicious meal boosts positivity in their senses. To heal yourself post-breakup this is one of the ideal solutions.
Make New Friends to Heal from A Breakup
When you’ll step out either to join a new class or to go on a vacation, you’ll meet new people. Meeting new people and sharing your life experiences can help you heal at a faster rate. Also, when you discuss things with friendly strangers, you get to learn their outlook towards life as well.
You’ll get to enjoy a different company and it will prove beneficial to you in the long run. People from different backgrounds have unique experiences. Their experiences will give you ideas to heal yourself post-breakup. On learning how they deal with their lives, you’ll start assessing your challenges as well. That way you’ll know how to face difficulties and you’ll start living a life from a different perspective.
Meditate and Practice Yoga
Yes, self-healing begins with healing from within. Meditation calms your mind and frees you from unwanted thoughts. Yoga brings stability in life; you learn how to control your body with your mind.
Both meditation and yoga improve flexibility in your body and thoughts. Practicing yoga helps in positively changing your behavioral pattern. You get into a peaceful zone and everything around you starts looking serene.
Conclusion
Various studies confirm that mental agony post-breakup is equivalent to physical pain. It takes ample time to recover from the trauma. But if you don’t take the right steps in healing yourself, you can be dragged into depression for a prolonged period. Which then makes it all the more difficult to pull yourself together. Only you can help yourself in unloading the negative emotions. No one else can do it for you.
