Relationships are weak bonds, but you need to strengthen them by being loving and caring to your partner. Obviously, it is not easy to move on and build a new relationship in one go. If you had a bad experience in past relationships, then it will take time to heal yourself. But most of the time, you will worry about- will your past experiences hinder the progress of your new relationship. Will you be able to love your new partner the same way you did in the past? Also, is it all right if you give out the details of past relationship experiences?
I agree these thoughts will always hold you back from sharing the details of your past relationships. But it is advisable to be open about what you expect in your new relationship. You must let your current partner know what went wrong in the past relationships. And how you wish to start on a clean slate without feeling insecure about the consequences.
Let us check out the reasons why you must share the details of your past relationships and how to do it without feeling guilty.
1. You do it before someone else does it- reveal the secret details of your past relationships
The world is small, and to add to your woes, it is digitally connected. You never know who would befriend your partner and disclose all the secrets of your past love life. It can be your ex as well. So why take the risk?
Better you do it in a better way. At least you will be able to explain how your relationship got sour. Furthermore, you won’t spice up the conversation. Instead, you will share it favorably.
2. Jot down beforehand what you wish to share
I would suggest you better be honest and truthful once you decide to share the details from the past. Do not give away incomplete- details. If it is about a particular event, then tell your partner what exactly went wrong.
As the proverb goes- a little knowledge is dangerous; likewise, half-information or incomplete details can prove harmful to your new relationship.
For instance, when you were with your ex, you borrowed some from him, and you told this to your new partner. But you must also tell your new partner that you returned the money on time and the purpose behind borrowing the money.
3. Wait for the appropriate time to share the details of your past relationships
Before you decide to share the details of your past relationship, make sure you have spent ample time with your new partner. Invest time in building confidence. One or two months of dating is more than sufficient to give away the details from the past.
You should have a positive feeling about your new partner. Also, if your partner gives away the details from his past, then you can also jump in and share your details. But do link the topics, do not choose the random way.
If it is you who will be initiating the conversation about the past, then look for the right opportunity. But do not delay it for a long time.
4. Be prepared for a reaction and after-effects
Of course, it is not easy to share the secrets of your past relationships. But once you decide to do it, be prepared for the conflicts and verbal spats. That’s because anything that you share about your ex or any events is going to be hurtful.
Your new partner may pass judgment about you. Or he may also develop a mental image of you. But there is nothing wrong with this.
You can still share your past experiences and let your partner know that you value the bonding, and hence you do not want to keep any secrets from him. You can also have your friends along to corroborate the details when you share these experiences.
5. Let your partner know that you are laying a foundation of trust
If your partner asks you- why are you sharing about your past love life, then tell him you want to build a strong foundation of trust. You do not want any outsider to create rifts between you two.
So, before anybody else attempts to ruin the relationship, better you share it. Also, tell your partner that if there is no trust in the relationship, even this bonding can go sour. Push your partner to share his past relationship details as well.
6. You want to share the details because you do not want to leave an iota of doubt
You have got to be an open book to your new partner. And you have to let your partner know this because that will leave a positive impact on his mindset. Tell him that you are sharing about your past love life because he should not feel anything dubious about you.
Once everything is clear, you can happily commence the new journey. Sharing past relationship details is necessary for every relationship because it raises questions and doubts after some point in life.
Also, the topics related to your Ex may erupt during the fights which can aggravate the issue. Hence, you should leave no scope for doubts and second thoughts.
7. Do not sound like you want to be guilt-free
It is obvious that when you give away the past relationship details, your new partner will think that you want to be guilt-free hence, you are sharing it. So, let him think like that.
But when you speak, make sure that you are letting him know that the new relationship with him means more to you than his prejudices.
For instance, if you had a drunken encounter with your Ex (when you were in a relationship with your Ex), then tell your new partner that you had fun back then, and that you do not hold any grudges against your Ex. But you want to enjoy yourself with your new partner now and behave more maturely.
8. You expect honesty and commitment
It is indeed the first step in every relationship to reveal everything about your past. Also, it depends, on what you wish to share. But you must bring the focus to your new relationship. If you disclose everything honestly, your partner may also appreciate it. If he does not, then you will learn that you are in the wrong relationship.
Honesty and commitment begin with clarifying all the doubts. Sharing the details of the past is a sign that you don’t want anything to pave the way to doubts. Once you show commitment, your partner will follow in your footsteps.
9. You do not wish to repeat past mistakes, hence you are sharing the details of your past relationships
Another sign of sharing the details is that you are aware of the mistakes from the past. And since you care about your partner’s feelings, you do not want to repeat those mistakes. You want to prevent everything that may ruin your relationship.
Having an idea about what went wrong in your previous relationship can help you to avert the fights. Also, you will learn to rectify those mistakes and keep your partner happy. Sharing the past relationship details is also a sign that you accept that you were at fault too. And it is good to show acknowledgment of your mistakes.
10. All you want is love and no misunderstandings
Someone who is of sound mind will understand the importance of sharing the details from past relationships. But if your partner hurls cuss words at you upon sharing about your past love life, then you know you have not found the right match.
Let your partner know that you are sharing the information because you want true love. You aim to be in a happy and peaceful relationship. Misunderstanding and doubts can lead to differences in your flourishing bond. Hence, you are sharing about your past relationships.
If anyone does not understand this, is not your true soulmate.
Conclusion
Relationships need to have a strong foundation. If you think you can keep things ulterior and start the relationship, you may lose your partner after a few months of dating. The base of your relationship should begin on a clean slate.
There should not be any hidden motives that could destroy the bond. If you truly love your partner, let her know about your past. It is always better to disclose the details of your past before someone else reveals the secrets. Once you give away the details you will have a clear conscience. Additionally, there won’t be any fear of losing your partner if someone else tries to sabotage your relationship.
