It is interesting to learn how a man’s brain functions. After having read an article on livescience.com about the psychological traits of men, it intrigued me to write a blog on what men want in a relationship. However, there is a misconception that men between the age group of 18-35 love indulging in promiscuity. There is an underlying fact that as men age, their mental makeup and mindset change and move towards being more reliable and trustworthy.
If you read a few books on men’s psychology, you will learn that all men think similarly. However, their expectations from their partners differ widely.
Some books I loved reading were: What Men Want- by Matthew Hussey and A New Psychology of Men- by Ronald. F. Levent, Psychology of Emotions- by Paula and Francois, and Man’s Search for Meaning- by Viktor Frankl. All I can say is the expectations of men are simple, but if their partners try to control them, then gradually, men start looking for love somewhere else.
Let us have a look at what men want in a relationship and try to understand their expectations.
1. The Space- Freedom to enjoy guilt-free
Ideally, we all need space. But the jealousy factor makes us try to control our partners. One thing is clear, the more you try to control your partner, the more he will look for ways to run away from you.
Men need space to enjoy themselves. It may include partying all night out, flirting with other women, being extravagant, and being lazybones. But they wish to do all this without feeling guilty about their actions. So, women, you have to set your men free so that they come back to you.
Yes, men expect their partners to be open-minded and not controlling. But dear men, will you allow your partners to enjoy guilt-free?
2. A push to boost their ego
Let us not ignore the fact that men do have big egos. It is true, isn’t it? And there is nothing wrong with having an ego. That’s because it is a part of their psychological behavior. And they seek opportunities to satisfy their ego in some way or another.
It is as simple as that, and we all must accept it. And hence, men expect their partners to encourage some actions that will boost their ego. For instance, your man will expect you to compliment him for how handsome he is and that he can lure any woman with his fascinating looks.
You would be lying if your man hadn’t asked you this question- Don’t I look handsome? It is strange. but yes, this is what men want in a relationship- an ego booster.
3. Appreciation for being the man of the house
I agree it is connected with the aforementioned point. But all men expect their partners to praise their efforts for being the breadwinner. Of course, men who have partners who are working professionals also have this expectation. But the intensity is less compared to the others.
However, I believe there is nothing wrong with appreciating your partner’s efforts. Once in a blue moon, you can pamper your man for being Superman! But dear men, you must also shower affection on your partner for being appreciative.
4. A little extra care and consideration for being too strong
It is a hidden expectation that a majority of the men do not talk about. But they show signs so that you ask them- is everything ok honey? You must have heard this quote- If you are too strong, no one will care how you feel.
And it is true. Nobody asks how you feel or what you have been going through if you had a bad phase. People think if you have loads of money, then you are emotionless. So, men expect at least their partner should be considerate enough to ask how they feel.
5. To accept that even men cry
Pain is an inevitable part of our lives. If you are a living being, you are bound to have all emotions. So, people who are under the wrong impression that men are strong-willed and never get hurt are wrong.
Even men expect their partners to understand tough times make them weaker. They do get depressed, and sadness also engulfs them. This is what men want in a relationship- to accept that even though they are human beings they can be emotional too.
6. The feeling of security and love
It explains all- just like women, men also expect security and unconditional love from their partners. The feeling of security is linked to the sense of reliability. Men also seek reliable and trustworthy partners.
Trust and love are the core of any relationship. So, if a woman expects it from her man, then why can’t the man? Security comes when you become certain that your partner will not leave you in the lurch.
And the feeling of being loved comes when there is a sense of belonging in the relationship. That is what men want in a relationship- passionate love and no insecurity.
7. A strong connection both mental and physical
How can you miss this point? It is natural to have this expectation. And believe me, it is not just men; even women expect these connections. The only difference is men are more demanding in terms of physical love and less vocal about emotional connection.
Whereas, women demand emotional connection, and that is the reason they give in to the demands of physical love. These are not my words; a study supports this assumption. But I agree with this theory.
8. To look forward to him when you need a friend- They may not express it but this is what men want in a relationship
You may wonder if this is what men expect in a relationship, then why aren’t they vocal about it? Well, it is how men are wired. They say things that are unnecessary and do futile things. That is the reason for these many years we were under the impression that men are emotionless.
But the truth is men are great at lying and hiding things. They may not have ulterior motives, but their actions do not match their words most of the time. But they do expect their partners to share things openly with them. Be their confidante and be their partner in crime. But for that, you should not be the controlling partner.
9. Not to overburden them with problems and negativity
No doubt, women can freely express their emotions. They do not hesitate if the tears roll down their cheeks. Women feel relieved when they share their sorrows. But the problem is, men do not like crybabies.
The more you overload men with negative thoughts or petty problems, the more men will try to look for ways to escape away from you. Some men assume things quickly, and they will stereotype you by calling toxic girlfriend. Men expect you to share feelings, but they do not want you to keep coming to them only with your problems.
10. What men want in a relationship? To give them a shoulder when they feel low
Surprising, isn’t it? All these years, we thought only women looked for a caring shoulder. But the truth is even men look for a caring and loving heart. Even men want someone with whom they can share their feelings when they are low.
Let’s not forget men are humans too. They also have their own set of ups and downs. That also makes them seek solace in someone’s arms. Can you be the life partner who can offer your man a caring and supporting hand? Yes, this is what men want in a relationship.
11. To approve of their over-protectiveness- Yes, this is what men want in a relationship
Funny, isn’t it? It may sound weird, but it is true. Almost all men feel protective of their partners. But sometimes they show over-protectiveness. And the worst part is that they want you to like their overprotective behavior.
I agree jealousy makes them behave this way. But the positive point is, men, behave this way because they value you. That is the reason they feel envious of other men talking to you or staring at you (just an example).
If you feel your man is trying to control you by being overprotective, then tell him upfront. But, you must also tell him that you appreciate his concern towards you. And that you are a grown-up girl to take care of yourself.
12. To cook delicious food for them
I know grannies and grandpas have been saying – the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And I believe this is 80% true. Also, it is the reason that men want you to cook meals that will make them feel satisfied.
In many cases, this has been the sole reason that men haven’t divorced their wives. That’s because their wives cooked scrumptious meals. I agree it is a selfish expectation, but this is what men want in a relationship. All men go by the societal rules- women must know how to cook. If you could change this mindset, then probably, you can have a better married life.
13. To have a woman of their fantasy- That’s what men want in a relationship
Hahaha, I know it is hilarious. But it is true; men do want their partners to look like the woman of their fantasy. And that too only for them. If you have heard people saying, that men don’t like women wearing make-up, then they are wrong.
Men love it when women apply the right amount of make-up that enhances their beauty. If anything that makes you look shoddy or gaudy, then no one will appreciate it. That’s how it goes. So, next time try applying some make-up and look like a beauty queen for your man.
14. Financially independent partner- not a gold digger
Men often like it when you are emotionally dependent on them. But when it comes to money, they prefer financially independent women. Yes, that is right. No man on this earth likes to pay for others. That also includes his partner or girlfriend.
Every man believes when a woman learns the importance of earning money, she values money. And that she doesn’t need a man to spend on her. I also agree with this thought. Why should one depend on others for financial stability? Earn for yourself and enjoy your life.
15. What men want in a relationship? They want a communicator and not a nagger
I guess the point explains it all. Who likes getting nagged? If you have complaints, then let your partner know. There is no point in pointing out faults now and then. Communicate, share your feelings, and show how your man can make things straight.
Why nag? Men want their partners to show how they can keep them happy. Nagging and constantly complaining does no good to any relationship. And I also agree, it is better to talk than taunting someone unnecessarily.
Conclusion
Women are expressive species and men are action-oriented. So, they do not know how to express themselves. However, if you teach them to be expressive they can grasp that idea in no time and turn into an expressive being. It is up to you how you make them understand.
There could be many more expectations that men keep to themselves. It is better to be vocal about your needs and wants to your partner. Communicating more and letting your feelings known is crucial for a long-term relationship.
