With new dating terms being surfaced in the digital world, people have chosen to embrace the new ideas of dating. One of the new terms that caught my attention was solo polyamory. The term is simple- it means being open to dating and having multiple meaningful relationships without any commitment to one partner. Some may find it promiscuous, while others may believe that it is the new age dating idea. But what has this got to do with your man? Well, maybe if you think along these lines, one can say that it’s one of the signs the guy is playing you.

Here is how I will explain. Maybe your man was serious with you up until he was introduced to this new idea of dating. Not only on the grounds of solo polyamory but he may be intrigued to explore the new world of dating altogether. And now, if you are wondering how to find out whether the man you are dating is serious about you or not, then you must look for these signs.

Love is indeed blind, but beware here are the signs the guy is playing you. Watch out before you commit

1. You are convenient to him

I hope you get this straight. Convenience dating is also a simple term that men prefer when they are waiting to find their perfect match. But until they find someone, they will continue dating who is easily available to them.

It could be their friend, office colleague, or neighbor. Check, which category you fall into. It simply means- getting your hands on the easier ones. Don’t objectify yourself. But think as the men do. You may be super attractive, and he may be charming. So, according to your man, there is a win-win situation.

So, he may be dating you, but he is still distant in his approach. And you can sense it through his actions and behavior. And when you ask him, he may say, let’s first get to know each other better, why jump into commitment? It is a sign he is not serious about you.

2. You plan the dates, not him

Once you get into a relationship, you expect your partner to contribute to the relationship. And it begins with planning date nights with you, going on a short vacation, or spending some quality time with you.

But none of this takes place unless you take the initiative. You are the one who plans the date. Right from fixing the location, and planning the dinner menu, everything is planned by you. He only attends the date night. Doesn’t it sound fishy?

Okay, if you have a plausible explanation like, he is a hard-working man or a workaholic, why would he spend time planning a date? Well, if you accept this, good for you. But it would help if you also looked at the other picture. Have you seen him planning your intimate nights? And if he does that, then be sure he has time for the naughty nights. But he doesn’t have time to take the initiative to go on a simple date. Signs of hypocrisy!

3. The word commitment makes him apprehensive

Nobody asks for commitment immediately. It follows only after a while, right? Once you start dating and enjoy each other’s company, only then you decide to take your relationship to the next level. But after a few months of dating, if you get serious and your man says, he needs time, then there may be something running at the back of his mind.

What do you think it could be? He may be commitment-phobic, or he may not be serious about the relationship. That also implies he may not commit unless he is completely sure that you are the one. It is a challenge for you to decide whether you wish to continue or quit dating him. But even after several attempts of asking him for commitment, he doesn’t pay heed to your words, then maybe it’s one of the signs he is not serious about you for sure.

4. He hangs out with your friends, but you don’t know his friends

Okay, some women may not find it troubling if their partners did not introduce them to their friends. Of course, in the initial days, nobody takes their girl to meet their friends unless she is super-hot or they are committed to her.

It takes time to build a good rapport with the friends as well, hence, some men wait to introduce their girlfriends to their parents and friends. But wouldn’t it be wrong if your man knows all your friends and you don’t know any of his? Maybe even you should wait until he finds the right opportunity to make his friends meet you.

Even after several attempts, if your man fails to introduce his friends to you, then maybe he has some hidden thoughts running through his mind. Good or bad? That’s up to you to find out. But till then, you must note that at present the man you are dating has some other priorities, of which you aren’t.

5. You see a confidant in him, but does he…?

I have always believed that if you are looking for a serious relationship, then there shouldn’t be any secrets. Be it about your past relationships or any other incidents for that matter, no secret is the rule to a happy and flourishing relationship.

Hence, it begins with trusting your man and looking at him as your best friend with whom you can confide. So, if you share your secrets with him and he dodges your questions most of the time, then maybe he doesn’t trust you completely. Or it could also be that he is not that serious about you.

6. He often forgets to include you in his plans

Isn’t it terrible to experience this? Your man never lets you know what is going on in his life. You may feel like he is living a secret life where you have no access as a girlfriend. Let’s look at it this way, when you make a plan, you think about your man before taking the final call.

You ask about his preferences, likes, dislikes, dos & don’ts, etc., but when it comes to you, he does not even consider you. He finalizes everything, and if time permits, he informs you. Isn’t that sad? You should prioritize yourself over him.

7. You receive a call from him only when he needs you

It could be in times of emergency or when there is nobody to entertain him- he calls you. But on other days, you text him and call him. And he never calls you to ask how you are doing or how is your life. It is the first and a common sign in dysfunctional relationships.

Also, it means that the man you are dating is not serious about you or the relationship. He needs someone whom he can call when he is bored or is looking for someone to help him pass his time. So, you are only an entertaining doll for him. How long do you think you should be with such a man who doesn’t value your worth?  Do give it a thought.

8. He disregards your requests- Disparaging you more often is one of the critical signs the guy is playing you

Well, what I mean is- when you ask him to respect you in others’ presence, he shrugs off his shoulder and treats you like a loser. He also calls you too demanding when you ask for some help. Of course, it depends on what type of help you ask for.

But, disrespecting you or demoralizing you is not the answer. He must politely turn down your requests. The other negative treatment is not the solution. If he continues to treat you the same way, then you must learn that the man you are dating is not serious about you. You deserve love, leave this man.

9. You always sort the disagreements and he doesn’t- Taking you for granted is one of the signs the guy is playing you

Fights and spats are a part of a healthy relationship. But when there is a major argument, he runs away and you keep following to mend the things. That is not how a relationship works. There has to be cooperation from both ends if you wish to solve the problems.

But if you are the only one who says sorry every time then you may be in the wrong relationship. You should move out of the relationship. How long can you be submissive?

10. He has way too many girls in his gang- One of the most overlooked signs the guy is playing you

Do you know when a guy becomes complacent in a relationship? When he knows he can find a girlfriend in no time and has many girls in his life. So, you can’t expect a man to be serious with you if he has this mentality.

Of course, not all men are the same. But if your man already has many such friends and often hangs out with them, then there is a high possibility that he doesn’t want to get serious with you.


Effectively, one can say that you live many times in a given lifetime and you die once. But you have to be careful whom you share your life with. A love life and a happy social life are crucial for your mental well-being. Hence, you must be careful about whom you commit to. Also, do not forget that every relationship is unique and the signs mentioned above may not apply to all the relationships.

Keep all your senses open to evaluate and observe the people you hang out with. Especially, the person whom you date must be affectionate and understanding. If you experience any of the above signs in your relationship then take a wise call and leave the relationship before you lose yourself in the journey.

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